Is There A “Right” Time to Start Having Therapy?

This is a question that comes up a lot, and although I don’t believe there’s a one-size-fits-all answer to it, I do think it’s possible to find your own way to an answer. In this post, I’ll offer some guidance for you to be able to do just that, without telling you when you “should” consider having therapy.

Something happened recently and you feel the need to talk to someone about it

A lot of people decide it’s the “right” time to start having therapy after a particular event or situation has unfolded that they feel the need to talk to someone about. This might be something at work, or in a relationship, or it could even be something that has been reported on in the news that has had a bigger impact than expected.

When this happens, it’s common for people to want to talk to someone “neutral” about their thoughts and feelings, a person who isn’t connected to what’s happened, and who isn’t emotionally invested in it. Therapy can be a great space to explore what’s going on for you, without the pressure of filtering anything to “keep the peace”.

There’s stuff from your past that’s still having an impact on you

People often start having therapy to address their thoughts and feelings about things that happened in the past that still seem to have an impact on them. They may be disturbed by recurring dreams, find themselves repeating harmful patterns in relationships, or feel like the past still has a hold on their present and future.

This doesn’t have to be “big” stuff in the way you might assume; it can be anything that continues to bother you in some way, long after it happened. Sometimes these things can seem “tiny” or “petty”, and it can feel like you shouldn’t still be bothered by them, but if it’s continuing to do so, that suggests it still needs to be processed.

You’re prepared to commit to investing time, energy and money into it

People often underestimate how much time, energy and money they may need to invest into therapy to get the most out of it (assuming they’re paying for therapy privately). It’s a big commitment, especially if the things you’d like to work on are complex and layered, so worth taking time to make sure you’re prepared to make that commitment.

It’s important to acknowledge here that there is inherent privilege in being able to make the choice to do this, and that not everyone is able to do so. In an ideal world, therapy would be free at the point of use for anyone who wants it, and therapists would be properly paid for their professional service. If the financial commitment is a concern for you, I’d encourage you to see if there are any low-cost therapy services in your local area that could help.

You don’t have a particular “reason”, but would like to make time to learn more about yourself

This is something that people often underestimate or don’t even consider when it comes to whether or not it’s the “right” time to start having therapy. As there’s an enduring myth that you can only have therapy if you’re in crisis or at breaking point, it makes sense that people don’t consider that they can have therapy when things are generally okay.

In fact, it can be beneficial to have therapy when you’re in a “good” place, as it can help you to build and strengthen your resilience when things are - inevitably - more challenging. Learning new techniques to regulate your emotions is a great example, and are often much easier to take in when you’re feeling like things are okay.

You understand that there’s never going to be a “perfect” time, so now is as good a time as any

We can create obstacles for ourselves by saying that we can’t do something until X, Y or Z has happened, or that A, B or C needs to be the focus for the foreseeable future. Sometimes this is a legitimate consideration to make because other things genuinely do need to be prioritised, and you’ll make things more difficult for yourself if you don’t do so.

Yet the reality is that you will always be able to find a reason NOT to start having therapy, and can tell yourself a story about why other things are more important. If this is the place you’re in, it may be useful to reflect on whether there’s something in particular that you might be avoiding, and if talking about it might be helpful in the long-run.

I hope this post has given you some useful things to consider if you’re weighing up when might be the “right” time to start having therapy, and that it’s shown you that isn’t ever going to be a 100% right time! It’s enough to recognise that it might be something you’ll find helpful, and to go from there.

At the time of writing this post, my caseload is at capacity and I am not taking on new clients. If you’re interested in the possibility of working with me, keep an eye on my website and social media pages for the latest update on my availability. You can find me on Facebook and Instagram @emmapooleytherapy.