Review: The Recovery Toolkit

Book Blurb:

Have you left an abusive relationship?

Are you still carrying guilt?

Would you like to understand, challenge and remove the voice of the perpetrator?

Do you still think what happened to you was your fault?

Do you find dealing with new people in your life something to be scared about?

If you’ve answered ‘yes’ to the above questions you are not alone.

Many people who leave an abusive relationship behind are affected by that former relationship in many different ways. Perhaps you feel guilty when making decisions on your own? You may worry about what motivates others to befriend you? Maybe your children are having to re-learn who it is that’s the adult in the room now that your ex-partner has gone from their lives.

If this all sounds familiar then The Recovery Toolkit is the book for you. Written in an easy and accessible style, the book will take you on a journey that is part discovery, part guide.

Something a bit different for the blog this time; I’m reviewing Sue Penna’s The Recovery Toolkit.*

The Recovery Toolkit is an easy-to-follow self-help resource for survivors of domestic abuse that draws upon Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) techniques to build a framework of support developed from Penna’s 12-week group programme of the same name. I will say from the off that I think the support and camaraderie that comes with group work cannot be replaced with a self-help book, but this doesn’t undermine the importance or usefulness of the book and I think it is a great introduction to the framework.

Domestic abuse is a complex, many-layered and incredibly emotive issue, and Penna handles it in a sensitive and thoughtful manner throughout. I particularly liked the comparative of an abusive relationship to a dictatorship, as it is often much easier to acknowledge and unpick negative and difficult issues when they are put into a wider, de-personalised context.

There are useful exercises, tips and case studies throughout to encourage readers to follow the programme through to the end. Thought diaries are an excellent reflective tool featured throughout the book, and I have no doubt that survivors working through this programme and recording their thoughts will be pleasantly surprised by the positive shift that they can experience after 12 weeks. Penna emphasises the importance of not attempting to work through the book if you are still in an abusive relationship due to the heightened risk, and I would like to take this opportunity to reiterate this here.

One of the intended aims for this book is that it will empower survivors, and I believe that it meets this aim in a way that offers understanding for how and why abusive relationships happen without excusing abusers. It encourages the reader to explore their identity and sense of self outside the abusive relationship, and acknowledges the conflicting feelings that may come with this (“They hurt me but I loved them”, for example) and how it is possible to work through this.

Jennifer Gilmour is a survivor and advocate for women in abusive relationships. Her personal reflections are woven throughout the book, and this offers a valuable insight into the life-changing impact that this programme can have on survivors of domestic abuse once they have left the relationship.

I work with a lot of individuals who have experienced domestic abuse in my work as a therapist. I believe that it’s important for me to expand and enhance my knowledge of challenging issues so that I can offer the best possible support to my clients, and this book is a useful resource for this.

As a therapist, I will obviously always advocate for seeking support from a professional in conjunction with self-help materials if you’re struggling with the psychological and emotional impact of domestic abuse, but this is undoubtedly a great resource for survivors - and professionals working with survivors - to draw upon.

Between 27th July and 2nd August 2020, The Recovery Toolkit Kindle edition is available for 99p/99c here.

*Disclaimer: all views are my own, and I have not been offered any financial incentive to write this review, though I have been provided with a hard copy of the book in order to review it.