Reflecting on 2023
Happy New Year, and I hope January has been kind to you so far! I feel like I blinked and 2023 disappeared, so it’s surreal to be writing this in my first working week of 2024, yet here we are. The last 12 months had their ups-and-downs, and I felt like I had to crawl across the finish line into the New Year, but I’m back and I’m gradually getting my shit together (ish!).
To kick off a new year of blogging, I thought I’d share my reflections on 2023, so in this post I talk about my biggest lessons and achievements for last year (personal and professional), and my plans for the year ahead…
Biggest lessons
Personal
I bought my first house in February 2023, which was a huge change, and an exciting - if terrifying! - step in my life. There’s been a lot of work going on to sort out various issues in the months since, and it’s often been very draining and frustrating, particularly when problems have emerged that could have been avoided. At times, the process with the house has really tapped into my old stuff about not being able to trust other people, and that I “don’t deserve” for things to go well, which has been incredibly challenging.
And yet, I’ve found a new strength in managing the stress, and I’ve responded to the challenges in a very different way to how I would have done, even a couple of years ago. There are a few things I’ve learned along the way with this:
1) Trust my gut: if something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t, and I can choose to use that information to protect myself. It’s the moments when I haven’t trusted my gut that things have backfired spectacularly!
2) People want to help: this might seem obvious to most people, but I had been holding on to a belief of assuming that I would be burdening others if I asked them for help. In actual fact, the opposite has been true, and I have been so grateful for all of the care, kindness and support that people have shown me over the last year.
3) Nothing is under control: I hide it well (sometimes!), but I really struggle when I feel out-of-control, and it’s taken me a long time to begin to trust that things will work out, even if I have to take the scenic route along the way! Life goes on regardless of what I might hope and wish for, and all I can really control is how I respond to it.
My ‘word of the year’ for 2023 was growth, and I feel like I’ve been growing in all sorts of ways. The biggest shift has been in letting go of the need to attempt to manage how other people will respond to me if I share my thoughts and feelings with them. This has freed up so much energy and headspace for me, and has enabled me to show up more authentically in my relationships with others.
Professional
I’m continuing to learn to trust myself and my professional knowledge and experience a lot more, and beginning to realise that I don’t need to dilute myself in these areas. I didn’t appreciate that other people would value it, and so it came as a surprise when I was asked to deliver a range of workshops, and contribute to other areas that I wouldn’t have expected to be in.
I’ve been doing a Certificate course in Person-Centred Creative Arts since September 2023, and at the time of writing this post, the training is coming to an end in a few days’ time. Although it’s given me some useful skills and techniques for a different way of working with clients, I’ve really struggled with having the training sessions online. I’ve learned that for me, working online for an ongoing training course doesn’t suit me, so in future, I’ll be looking at in-person training opportunities instead.
Life has been very busy, and although there’s been lots of good stuff within it, it’s meant that I haven’t been as on-the-ball with things like blogging as I’d like to be. I’ve realised that I need to have more discipline with my time, and that I feel much better when I’ve planned and scheduled things like blog posts in advance, as it frees me up to do my actual job! My plan is to get more blog and social media posts written up and scheduled so that I don’t have to think about it, and then I can put my time and energy into other areas of my business.
The idea of having to be visible and put myself out there was the biggest scare for me when I first launched my practice, and I worried that whatever I did wouldn’t be “good enough”. It’s so lovely to meet people who have come across me on social media or this blog and tell me how much they enjoy my content! So to my “fans”, I’d like to say thank you for supporting me; it means more to me than you’ll know.
Biggest achievements
Personal
Buying my first house was a massive thing for me, although it’s certainly tested me at times! There’s still some work to be completed, so I don’t feel like I’ve been able to fully settle into it yet, but that’s coming and I’m looking forward to making the space my own.
As I write this, I feel like I’ve been finding a more sustainable work / life balance, and although there will be an ongoing need to tweak things from time-to-time, generally it’s going well. Rather than feeling like my whole identity revolves around my job, I’ve begun to shift into a place where my job is an important part of my life, but not my whole story.
I’ve been getting back into a routine with exercise, and regular Personal Training sessions have not only helped me to build my strength and fitness up, but have also helped with things like my sleep and general moods. I’d like to do a 100kg deadlift before the end of 2024 (I can currently manage 90kg, but get sabotaged by my grip!), and to find a class that I enjoy to throw into the mix.
I set myself a challenge to read 104 books in 2023 (averaging 2 books per week), and I finished the year with 67 books read. Given that I had some very quiet reading months with other things taking priority, I was delighted to have managed to read that many. In 2024, I’m aiming to read 75 books, and at the time of writing this post, I’ve just finished my first book, which was Write for Life by Julia Cameron. Reading is a real joy for me, and I’m looking forward to encountering some new writers this year!
Professional
I’ve had the immense privilege of welcoming lots of new clients into my practice, as well as saying farewell to those who’ve come to the end of this part of their therapy journey. It still amazes me that not only do I get to do a job that I absolutely love, but that people actually want to work with me! I don’t take any of this for granted, and I am so grateful to the clients who put their trust in me to share and explore some of the most vulnerable parts of themselves.
In 2023, I took part in a few different training opportunities, including Creative Arts and working with the media, and I’ve gained a lot from these experiences. My priorities are shifting for 2024, in that I’m going to focus on consolidating my existing knowledge and skills, rather than doing lots more training, as I want to give myself the time and space to reflect on what I really want to do going forwards.
Plans for 2024
I gained UKCP accreditation as a psychotherapeutic counsellor in 2022, and I’m currently working towards accreditation as a psychotherapist. I’m aiming to attain this in the next few months, and once I’ve got it, I’ll feel like I’ve closed the loop on that part of my therapy journey, even if I’ll have to apply for re-accreditation every 5 years!
2023 was full of changes on both a personal and professional level, and I did a lot of additional training throughout the year to expand upon my knowledge and skills for my clinical work, as well as the behind-the-scenes aspects of my business. In 2024, I plan to focus more on my personal development, and making time for creative pursuits that have been on the back-burner for a long time.
I’d like to deliver some more workshops this year, as I really enjoy the energy and engagement that comes with teaching. Hopefully I’ll have more time and headspace for this in the next few weeks, and then I can start developing some of the - many! - ideas I’ve been sitting on.
One of the things I’ve missed over the last few years is making time for hobbies that interest me. I would like to write more for the joy of it, as well as creating more art and getting back into music lessons (I was learning to play the piano before Covid, but it’s something I haven’t picked up again since, and I’d really like to).
My ‘word of the year’ for 2024 is connection, as this is the key thing I’m seeking to experience more of in the coming months. I want to connect with myself as well as others, and take opportunities to do so whenever they appear. I’m unsure as to exactly what this might look like at the moment, but it’s giving me a focus for the year regardless.
I’d like to say a huge thank you to everyone who has supported me and my practice, whether you’ve been there right from the start or have only just stumbled across me; it really does mean the world. My biggest thanks go to each and every client who has shared so much of themselves, and allowed me to be alongside them as they work through their “stuff”.
At the time of publishing this post, my caseload is at full capacity, so I’m not taking on new clients until further notice. If you’re interested in the possibility of working with me, keep an eye on my social media (@emmapooleytherapy on Instagram and Facebook), or check back on this website for the latest updates.