5 Tips for Talking About Mental Health

You may have seen a buzz on social media for Time to Talk Day on Thursday 3rd February 2022, with people sharing their experiences of talking about their mental health. It was fascinating to read some of the reasons why people don’t talk about it, with many of them saying that they had negative experiences of trying to explain what’s going on for them and being shut down or not taken seriously.

It can be hard to know where to start, and if you’ve had negative experience in the past, it may feel scary to have another go at opening up to other people. In this post I share 5 tips for talking about mental health, whether it’s your own or to someone else about theirs, which I hope will encourage and reassure you to have these types of conversation.

Think about the timing and environment to have the conversation

Are you likely to be interrupted or overheard? Will you be having a deeply personal conversation whilst trying to focus on other tasks that require you to concentrate? Do you have a limited amount of time before you’ll need to rush off to something / somewhere else?

If the answer is “yes” to any or all of these questions, then it probably isn’t the best time to talk!

Instead, see if you can find a time when you can talk without the pressure of a tight deadline and in a place where you won’t be disturbed or interrupted by those around you. For face-to-face conversations, going for a walk or talking while cooking or in the car can be a great way to gently encourage the conversation to flow.

If you’ll be talking online over the phone or video call, make sure that you don’t have any distractions from alerts, and that you can give it your full attention. It’s usually easy to tell if you’re talking to someone who is distracted by something else, so be respectful.

Listen and ask questions

If you’re listening to someone else talking about their mental health, make sure that you’re giving them your full attention, and ask open questions in response to what they share. You can show them you’re listening by reflecting what they’ve said back to them, and asking if you’ve heard and understood them correctly.

Some people find too much direct eye contact from the person they’re talking to threatening (even if that isn’t the intention), so they may feel more comfortable if you’re alongside them rather than facing them as they talk.

Asking questions in response to what you’ve heard is another great way to show you’re listening, as well as encouraging the other person to tell you more. Make sure that you ask open questions that invite them to share more information, rather than closed questions that assume a response and are likely to shut them down.

Don’t make assumptions

Possibly the worst thing we can do when listening to someone talking about their mental health is to make assumptions. We might assume we know what they’re thinking, feeling and experiencing, as well as the reasons why, when in fact, we simply don’t know unless they tell us.

It’s important to give people the time and space to express themselves in a meaningful way, so if they are taking a bit longer to tell you what’s going on, don’t jump in with your own thoughts and ideas. Even with the best of intentions, there’s a risk that by doing so, you’ll shut the other person down.

Don’t treat them any differently

One of the biggest barriers that many people have to overcome to open up about their mental health, is the worry that they will be treated differently if people know that they’ve been struggling. For example, it may be that they are afraid of telling a colleague that they’re feeling stressed in case the colleague assumes that they can’t cope with anything and takes all of their work away.

It can take a huge amount of strength and bravery to talk about mental health, so if someone has talked to you about it, that’s a clear sign that they trust you. Remember that even if they’ve shared their struggles with you, they are still the same person and will still want to be treated “normally”.

Be patient

These conversations can be tough, especially for people who’ve never had the opportunity to have them before. Everyone gets there in their own time, so remember that there may need to be several brief chats to start off with before they feel ready to open up further.

Even if they’re not able to talk about what’s going on for them straightaway, the fact that they’ve approached you at all is a good sign that they will find it easier to open up in future. Keep encouraging them to talk to you if they can, and remember that “being with” them is often more powerful than we realise.

I hope that these tips have given you encouragement and a confidence boost for talking about mental health. We all have mental health, so the more we can talk about it now, the easier and more natural it will become for future generations to do the same.

As ever, if you’re struggling with your mental health and think I might be the therapist for you, feel free to get in touch with me and we can see if we’re a good fit to work together. You can contact me using the form below, via email to emma@emmapooleytherapy.com, or on Facebook and Instagram @emmapooleytherapy.